Conflicted Fandom
I’ll be rooting for the Patriots, but…
I’ll be rooting for the Pats tomorrow — and I’ll be rooting hard, no question. This season for the New England Patriots has been amazing — a 13–3 record, an NFL all-time best 9–0 on the road, and a return to glory after two inglorious 4–13 seasons — but there are asterisks in my mind, namely the domestic charges against star wide receiver Stefon Diggs and defensive wrecking ball Christian Barmore that have been delayed and kicked down the road in the court system.
Think I’m overreacting?
Here’s a synopsis of the charges against the two:
Stefon Diggs was cited in connection with an alleged domestic assault that occurred on December 2, 2025, at his home in Dedham. According to court records and reporting at the time, Diggs was accused of assaulting and strangling his personal chef during an argument. Despite the seriousness of the allegations, Diggs was not immediately arraigned. His first court appearance was initially scheduled for January 23, 2026, and was later postponed to February 13, 2026 — allowing him to continue playing for the Patriots throughout the postseason while the case remained pending.
Christian Barmore was cited in connection with a separate alleged domestic incident involving the mother of his child that police say occurred on August 8, 2025. The charge — misdemeanor assault and battery on a household or family member — did not become public until late December. Barmore’s arraignment was initially scheduled for February 3, 2026, nearly six months after the alleged incident, and was later postponed again to March 9, 2026, pushing his first court appearance well past the end of the NFL season.
Now compare that to Ricardo R. Alexandre, a Boston police officer who was arrested on domestic violence charges after an alleged incident on December 28, 2025, in which he was accused of assaulting and strangling his girlfriend. Alexandre was arraigned on December 31, just days after the incident was reported. He pleaded not guilty, was released on personal recognizance with a no-contact order, and was immediately placed on paid administrative leave. The state’s POST Commission also suspended his law-enforcement certification, preventing him from exercising police powers while the case proceeds — a rapid progression later cited by the Boston Globe in contrast to the delayed arraignments of Patriots players facing similar allegations.
Similar charges, different outcomes. Diggs and Barmore are essential to the Patriots’ success this season, and thus, through the deep pockets of owner Robert Kraft, their celebrity and clever legal strategy have allowed them to keep playing. Alexandre, not so much.
The Patriots stood behind Diggs, saying that they supported him and take charges of domestic abuse and violence against women seriously—do they? Less so was the podium backing of Barmore, who — at 6 feet 5 inches and 315 pounds — allegedly threw the mother of his child to the floor and threatened to have his cousins beat her up after she and the child fled to Baltimore. Coach Vrable citing the “process” looked less like the prodigal son come home to right the house and more like another proponent of Patriot Way—do your job and we’ll do ours so you can keep doing yours. Deflect and delay so your star players can play.
It was a pretty shameful day in what has otherwise been a great season, and the league—of its own making—has its hands tied in such cases when it comes to taking action. Without an arrest or arraignment, there is nothing to trigger placement on the “exempt list,” which essentially sidelines a player without pay. It’s a loophole ripe for exploitation by a team with a rich owner and playoff dreams.1
I can’t blame Kraft and the Patriots for leveraging it—money and glory hang in the balance—but there is the matter of integrity and doing the right thing. If Kraft’s wife Myra — who died in 2011 from ovarian cancer — were alive today, this would not fly. Back in 1996, when it was revealed that draft pick Christian Peters was a serial abuser of women while at the University of Nebraska, Myra insisted the Pats relinquish their rights to Peters. As a result, Peters never saw a down in a Patriots uniform.
If only now Bob could remember that — let alone the league closing that loophole. As it stands, the Patriots and the NFL get off scot-free until a court rules, at which point they can distance themselves sans culpability, having checked the “followed the process” box. It’s ugly.
Diggs, who dates Cardi B, has carried a bad-boy rap through ten seasons and four teams — including that bag of pink substance caught on tape before the season even started, which had everyone talking cocaine. Diggs and Barmore have been huge assets in a season that has wildly exceeded expectations. As a fan, it’s been enthralling, but still, you feel a little bit dirty, even culpable.
Tomorrow, the Pats are essentially playing with house money — but what about the women? They don’t have a billionaire owner or an over/under sports-betting industry looking out for them. What will happen is out-of-court settlements. They’ll get paid, the charges will be dropped and the Patriots will flash their rings with moral impunity. There will be no day in court and no truth. The beat goes on.
And that’s a good spot for a pause, because second-year quarterback Drake Maye, new head coach Mike Vrabel — the righteous bull warrior who won three Super Bowls as a Pats player — offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels, and the swarming team defense have been superb. (Vrabel and McDaniels were just named coach and assistant coach of the year, and Maye finished second in the MVP vote.)
Not their doing, but how it has been handled by the team and NFL will still loom over their run and their achievement. Then there’s all the side chatter of Kraft’s name resurfacing in the Epstein files, along with all the other unscrupulous past transgressions— Deflategate and Spygate —that kept him and former head coach Bill Belichick out of the Hall of Fame this year despite the six Super Bowl trophies they notched together. And I won’t even mention the GOAT himself, Tom Brady, refusing to get back on the Pats bus.
Win or lose, there is going to be the linger of locker room stench the way the Malcolm Butler benching has hung around year after year. It’s fair too. Who it’s not fair to are the women — forced to wait, voices held in check, worn down and in limbo until they take the cash.
It could be that Diggs and Barmore are ultimately in the clear. We’re unlikely to ever know and if they truly feel vindication is within in grasp, why wait? As is, for every sack Barmore gets and every snag Diggs makes, I’ll be noting a mental asterisk. The victory will be sweet, but it will be tainted.
In 2014 Ray Rice knockout punch video, he was arrested at the time of the incident.